First Lessons from the Copenhagen COP15

I told a few people I would keep them posted on what I am up to in

this strange meeting. Hopefully I will learn other things later on but

in the meantime...here is what I learned on days one and two.

First Lessons From the COP15

1) If you really want to understand what is going on in a meeting of
35 000 people you need to have cloned yourself at least 5 times, and
have a personal assistant for each one. This is a sobering thought
when you think, for example, of the situation of the single (as in
one) delegate here from Cameroun.

2) It is probably not a good idea to try to meet someone you have
never met for whom you have only the description that he 'has a silver Mac and

a blue suit'. If this was a TV show, Mac and the makers of men's blue
suits would have paid a lot of money for their product placement bc
this description fits approximately 25% of the entire 35 000 people.
50% more wear black suits and carry Macs, or wear blue suits but have
PCs. The remaining 25% are composed primarily of women (wearing
various female versions of the blue and black suits with roughly the
same rations of Macs and PCs), NGO teenagers in jeans and logo
emblazoned T shirts and the small army of staff wearing blue, white or
red depending on their job. There have also been quite a few costumed

people - including some fake magicians, a mermaid, and several alarm clocks.

3) Compared to the hordes of NGO kids running around I am old and
crotchety but probably not as old and crotchety as the negotiating
parties which appear to be utterly and completely unmoved and
unobservant of all NGO lobbying efforts. I at least acknowledge their
existence.

4) Commuting in Copenhagen is essentially a daily non-confrontational

critical mass ride composed entirely of extremely polite and law
abiding cyclists.

5) Danish is hard. Unless you have a natural penchant for weird and
wonderfully nuanced vowel combinations you are unlikely to be
understood by anyone, no matter how hard you try. I have been advised
to stop trying.

6) There is infinitely more going on than meets the eye.
Frustratingly, it also seems to evade all my other senses, other than
my intuition which is loudly insisting that I am missing the point
entirely.

7) Are we sure that the idea of global governance was not just a
conspiracy by a confederation of law schools as a way to employ all
graduates in perpetuity? Does anyone have any evidence that this is
not the case?

8) Airport security systems could learn something from the UN. 35 000
people get funneled through 21 X-Ray machines and three badge
inspection checkpoints daily. It takes less than 10 minutes to get
through security.

9) Avoid smiling at anyone with a TV camera. You are far too likely
to end up getting interviewed. They have lights and microphones and
you probably have NO idea what you are getting into.

Perhaps I'll learn some other things soon.....or maybe not.....in any
case, the biking is lovely, the city is sane, and I am late for
another session.

S